Venus and Mars in Fort Wilderness: Ideal Mother’s Day vs. Father’s Day

Mother’s Day has to be my favorite celebration of the year. It’s clearly a highly selfish one, but there’s little question about whose day it is. I banish all thoughts of cooking and cleaning, and relish that fact that the kids will do whatever I want with me for the entire day. What I have learned over the years is that I need to plan the day myself to some degree, or else we end up doing things that others think I want to do. We too often assume that the ultimate day for us is also the perfect one for another, and I’m amazed how hard it is to learn otherwise.

are men really from mars?

Both science and pop-psychology back up some of the stereotypical differences in men and women, and why we communicate, compete, emote and choose to recharge in such different ways. According to John Gray (Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, 1992), men need to solve problems, fix things (tinker), and retreat into a cave (or beer garden) when stressed. Women, on the other hand, are apparently programmed to give and nurture (and talk to animals), but turn into wicked stepmothers when efforts aren’t reciprocated. And thus, Mother’s Day is apparently the day when husbands and kids make up for the imbalance that exists the rest of the year. So, the purposes of the commemorations, and the way that we view them, are somewhat distinct.

I thought about how a dream day would look different for a mom or a dad at Fort Wilderness. This led to some qualitative research (albeit with a very small sample), an interview with Captain Bacon and a few friends, and a look at trends in the Mouse Glamping Society Facebook group as well as some others. Here’s our collective thoughts on the ideal day for Father’s Day and Mother’s Day during a stay Fort Wilderness. Surprisingly, there is a little bit of overlap, but also some nuanced but important differences.

let’s start with Breakfast

Mother’s Day: Mom wants to sleep in til about 830 am, and be gently awoken to a breakfast on the veranda (okay, on the concrete pad picnic table). She doesn’t want a cooked breakfast in the RV because somehow there’s still going to be a few dishes in the sink. So, please head over to PJ’s Takeout and bring back the goods. I’m tickled pink with the Sticky Buns ($4.99) and a glass of milk. Sister Pluto, however, wants the Breakfast Bounty, with the eggs, bacon, potato barrels and all that other stuff for $11.99. With coffee.

Father’s Day: Breakfast is Captain Bacon’s most anticipated meal of the day. Even with his beloved morning camping meal of Wilderness Skillet with Fried Eggs, there is no place like breakfast at Trail’s End buffet – particularly the weekend brunch. The $25 buffet ($14 for kids) includes his favorite – hand-carved Maple bacon, but also an entire spread of traditional country breakfast items, seafood, eggs with brisket, Mickey waffles, and an assortment of breads and sweets.

Morning Activity Hour

Mother’s Day: We girls were a little split on this one, but taking a long walk to Wilderness Lodge (when it’s not closed for construction) or a bike ride around the fort are both winners. Working off that breakfast is a priority for me, and the sugar crash after breakfast would be disastrous otherwise.

Father’s Day: Dad desires a little more activity and risk, and the 30-minute horseback trail ride (starts from Fort Wilderness Outpost area) makes a perfect cowboy daddy instapost.

Late Morning INDULGENCE and SOLITUDE

Mother’s Day: That bigger than normal breakfast and the 6-mile bike ride means the Mothership needs pampering. Time to take the boat ride to the Contemporary and the monorail to the Grand Floridian. The 80-minute massage (a pricey $195) will be one of my favorite parts of the day. Sister Pluto agrees 100 percent. Mrs. Thang will likely limit her massage to 50 minutes, and go shopping for the other part of the hour. If the price seems formidable, Select Massage, on Hotel Plaza Boulevard, offers 90 minutes for $120.

Father’s Day: Dad wants no part of either a massage or a shopping, but is delighted by idea of heading to play golf or taking a 2-hour catch-and-release guided fishing tour on Bay Lake. He’ll probably opt for the pontoon boat (with guide, bait and tackle), and will feel extra manly with his significant catch (the lake is very-well stocked). Call (407) 939-2277 for a reservation.

afternoon splash:

Mother’s Day: Mom’s wish is to extend the relaxed feeling from her massage hangover. A hour or two lounging on a float in the quiet pool at Fort Wilderness is where you’ll find her, perhaps dozing off from time to time in the sun. Dad and the kids should come as well, but plan to entertain each other while Moma chills.

Father’s Day: Dad, on the other hand, hopes to take the kids (and grandkids) to the middle of the action at the Meadows pool, with the music and competition and noise and splashing. His primal instincts (gender politics aside) make it hard for him to understand why anyone would want to just lay in the sun or be still at all.

everybody likes presents whether they admit it or not:

Mother’s Day: This is where the moms cannot agree, and our interests diverge. I would like a new Disney serving piece or dish towel from the Contemporary, but Mrs. Thang wants jewelry. Buttery Bob and Sister Pluto will take a new Fort blanket or t-shirt, and preferably one that is all-organic. An Enchanting Rose on Etsy offers some very stylish Fort-themed and Disney-themed shirts.

Father’s Day: Dads realize that they already have too much stuff, and that’s why their gifts should be consumable or teeny tiny. Captain Bacon wants one simple luxury that’s hard to find outside of Hawaii – a box of chocolate-covered macadamia nuts found in the shops at the Polynesian Resort.

Afternoon Snack and Drink:

Mother’s Day: It’s not 5:00 yet, but it’s close enough, and Mom is ready to sit on the water at the most relaxing lounge/grill in all of Disney World – Geyser Point at Wilderness Loge. Hopefully, she’ll have a large, comfy bayside seat as she sips her white wine. Sister Pluto would have the red wine, and Mrs. Thang will order the Black Cherry Mule. We may even have two.

Father’s Day: This is where the day seems to start converging. Dad also wants to take the blue flag boat on the short trip to Geyser Point, although his second choice would be Trader Sam’s (we girls love that one, too). But it feels like that’s just too much trouble today, and there will like be a long wait. Dad will order the Cheesy BBQ Brisket snack (it’s delicious) and a beer at Geyser Point.

evening epcot:

Mother’s Day: Mom and Dad both agree that Epcot is the crown jewel for dinner choices on their special occasion. Animal Kingdom is just too large this late in the day, and the Magic Kingdom and Hollywood Studios are rightfully focused on kids and teens. Mom only needs three rides: Soarin’, The Land, and Spaceship Earth, before heading off to dinner, most likely in Italy or Morocco. After dinner, Mom may grab a beignet in France, along with white wine from the French kiosk.

Father’s Day: Dad, who usually wants to cook out man foods like hamburgers, agrees that Epcot is the best place for a real celebration. He also wants to ride Soarin’, but opts for Test Track rather than mom’s favorite – The Land. For dinner, follow the margarita. He’s headed straight to the San Angel Inn, where he’s going full deal with the Combinacion Mexicana. But what Captain loves most is the closing show Illuminations, and we all know not to try to dodge out a little early as he want to stay until the end of the end of the end. Both the moms and dads agree that the worst part of Epcot is the crowded monorail and tiresome feeling in trying to get back to the Fort. We are calling a Mickey Van for a quick ride home.

I See the midnight Moon

Mother’s Day: Mom so loved the day that she doesn’t want it to end. Back at the RV, there will hopefully be a card game or maybe a little late-night looping before slipping away into sweet dreams of a magical day.

Father’s Day: Dad has never been this tired in his life, and is snoring within 10 minutes of arriving back at the RV. Of course, he will be he first one up in the morning, oblivious to how extraordinarily noisy he is when he makes coffee. But it’s Father Day week, and we will cherish him anyway.