As we drift into October and its bewitching nights, it’s time to have a little fun and look to the stars to find out what kind of camper you really are. Are you one who stays outside, the one who would rather be in a cabin, or the one most likely to get kicked out of the Fort?
Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)
Won’t go looping or to the pool until everything is set up perfectly and put away. Doesn’t find it funny when Gemini and Pisces hide their marshmallows. Most likely to skip the park because it’s too much money, but will buy a Louis Vouitton Mickey purse at Disney Springs. Will ensure that everyone is awake on time and in bed right after the fireworks. Most likely to follow Fort rules (will never sneak a peek beyond the construction fence), and most likely to find the mistake on the final bill. Will worry incessantly if refrigerator is low on food or water. Panics when iPhone charge is below 50 percent. Famous Disney Capricorns: Kevin Costner, Betty White
Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)
Likely to wear the most off-beat Mickey ears or the most vintage Fort Wilderness shirt. Becomes friends with half the loop by day two. Will disappear often to visit the horses or take 429 pictures of squirrels. Wants to ride the new gondolas over and over. Gets upset when you have scheduled fast-passes for them as they have their own plans. Spends hours late at night under the awning with Gemini or Libra analyzing the hidden meanings of the campfire movie. Famous Disney Aquarians: Bob Iger, Ellen Degeneres
Pisces (February 19 – March 20)
Will be the first one to take a plane home if his or her feelings are hurt. But if you come down with a stomach bug at Disney, he or she will be the one to cook and serve you a magical soup. When not fishing in the canal, you may find him at Crockett’s Tavern. And if you’ve gotten your Mickey panties in a wad, Pisces will be the one to listen to you for hours on the Settlement Porch and actually understand. A strong candidate to win any contest at the Meadows pool, including dancing. Will always choose boat transportation over wheels. Famous Disney Pisceans: Michael Eisner, Kurt Russell
Aries (March 21 – April 19)
As you walk to the boat launch, notice who is a few paces ahead of everyone else. It’s Aries, and usually with a strut. She will also be challenged to hang with the group after an hour or two in the park, and will likely split off with just one other person. There’s no thrill ride that scares this one, and she is the one most likely to speed in the golf cart. Aries is going to need some serious space from cramped camping quarters, as her temper may quickly flare when it takes too long to set up camp or others are being bossy. Yet, she will be the one to personally confront the coyote in the middle of the night, and is fearless about defending her family and friends. Famous Disney Aries: Buddy Ebsen, Sarah Jessica Parker
Taurus (april 20 – May 20)
Upon arrival, he is ready to pull out the lounger and recline for a bit. After all, it’s been a long ride, and he has the rest of you to hook up the water, the sewerage, put away the luggage, and all those other mundane task. Taurus is one for creature comforts, and likely invented the word “glamper.” On the flip side, Taurus is so in touch with earthly delights that you can count on many gourmet meals and forest feasts during your stay at the Fort. Taurus is also sentimental about the Fort, and will be among those most deeply troubled by the demise of the old barn. While not as likely to get banned from the Fort as Sagittarius, his paranoid nature and inability to admit a mistake can sometimes lead to self-destruction. Famous Disney Taureans: George Lucas, Russi Taylor
Gemini (May 21 – June 20)
She is among the most visibly excited to arrive at the Fort, and will pitch in to get everything set up as rapidly as possible, even if it’s quite disorganized. There will be a day’s worth of fun and activities planned for just the first hour, and her creative energy may exhaust others. But just when you’re getting on the monorail to go to Epcot, she has suddenly come up with a new plan and calls a Minnie Van to whisk you to Boma for dinner. If you’re sharing a secret with grandpa on the boat ride to Wilderness Lodge, nosy Gemini with the long ears will hear it, even if she’s talking and reading a book at the same time. But the great news is that your trip will never have a dull moment. Famous Disney Geminis: Dick Nunis, Johnny Depp
Cancer (June 21 – July 22)
His favorite camping item is the crock-pot, and you can count on him to make sure everyone is well fed on comfort foods such as mashed potatoes, macaroni and cheese, and tomato soup. Don’t worry about cleaning up after yourself because Cancer is here to nurture. He has a favorite loop at the Fort, and will get broody if he’s not in his same, secure spot year after year. And that bad service you had at Trail’s End back in 2008? He hasn’t forgotten, and will bring it up again at the Sunday brunch. Just when you think you are having a perfect day, Cancer will let you know how bad the bugs are, how slow the golf cart is going, and how the camper is parked too close to that pine tree. Yet simultaneously, he is the one who most wants to hang with the family and hug everyone goodnight. Famous Disney Cancers: Lindsey Lohan, Wolfgang Puck
Leo (July 23 – August 22)
When the afternoon storms put a damper on afternoon pool plans, Leo will not be disheartened. She is the one to make royal lemonade out of lemons, and point out how this is the best time to go to the parks. She does her fair share of setting up camp, and can often cleverly solve problems that would frustrate Aries. Notice that she brought some Chip and Dale branded snacks back from the trading post – be sure to realize that these are not for you. Sharing is not her thang. Nor is saying no to the finer things in life or playing second fiddle to anyone. And if she has it in her mind that it’s time to go to Geyser Point for an afternoon snack, don’t waste your time in resisting. For she will persist. Famous Disney Leo: Davy Crockett, Harriet Burns
Virgo (august 23 – September 22)
Naturally at home in the woods, Virgo finds perfection and peace in the forest with the animals, even the predators. In his mind, it’s humans who are so flawed. And it’s his job to “protect” you by pointing out your shortcomings (that skirt is too short) and fixing them (here is the proper way to tie a knot). On park days, it is better to wake him up earlier than the rest. He has morning rituals and these include meticulous grooming. When it’s time to leave the Fort, the Virgo will work tirelessly to get everything ready and packed on time. He is not one to leave a job half-finished or to break a promise. Be sure to lend him a hand for he is incapable of asking for help. Famous Disney Virgos: Joe Rohde, Nick Jonas
Libra (September 23 – October 22)
Every camping family is lucky to have her amongst them as she is usually the most balanced of the group. She will work quite well to do her part at the campsite. But even when she slacks off, her charm will make it difficult for anyone to be unhappy with her. When everyone else is arguing about whether to go to the Fireworks on Clementine Beach or do some late-night looping, Libra adeptly cuts through the acrimony and brings everyone back to harmony. Even though she gets along with everyone from crazy Granny to the grumpy bus driver, Libra will hang out with Gemini and Aquarius to gossip at length about your mama and possibly the camper next door. Famous Disney Libras: Julie Andrews, Chef TJ Sudwisa
Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)
It all starts with backing in the camper. Scorpio has to do it efficiently and the right way the first time. And usually he does due to his unsurpassed level of focus. But woe to you if you point out the error of his backing into the cypress tree. The fires of hell will be unleashed upon you. When he has calmed down a few hours (a days later), he will be the life of the party. When he is at his best, his mysterious aura can even put Chip and Dale into a trance. Yet, he is always looking for something bigger and covets the larger Tiffin motorhome across the loop. The best way to calm him down is to feed him. This is the one who is always looking for the most decadent buffet. Famous Disney Scorpios: Mary Blair, Carrie Fisher
Sagittarius (november 21 – December 22)
Like Virgo, she is another natural camper who does not need to luxuries of a cabin or hotel room. You’ll find her renting a canoe, taking long bike rides, and at Typhoon Lagoon. Smiling and adaptable, she is open to every new exploration that the group has in mind. Epcot may be her favorite park, as she is fascinated with the countries, and dreams of visiting all of the “real” ones someday. On the down side, she is can be quite the princess when it comes to looks, spending an extraordinary time in the comfort station in morning. She will also be the one who makes a scene when her pizza at the Meadows pool takes 15 minutes and is slightly overdone. As sweet as she is, she is among those most likely to get banned from Fort Wilderness for a single reckless decision. Famous Disney Sagittarians: Walt Disney, Miley Cyrus
Related: How Much Do You Really Know About Fort Wilderness? Quiz – Part I
